Journal #1
If I could invite David Foster Wallace into the discussion in our classroom there is one major question that I would ask him. I would like to know what led him to feel so passionate about the debate of lobsters’ awareness of pain. I would also like to know exactly what his intentions were in writing this essay. The author certainly demonstrates his opposition regarding the treatment of lobsters, however I would like to know if this was the goal of his writing. Was the main point to bring awareness to the debate of lobster ethics or did Foster Wallace intend to persuade readers against eating lobster. In short, I would like to know what exactly the author was trying to accomplish. I certainly felt a variety of emotions as I read through his work but I would like to know what Foster Wallace wanted me to feel. At one point he equates the Maine Lobster Festival to a “Roman circus” (509), and this comparison seems rather harsh to me. When an author makes a claim as dramatic as such, in my perspective they lose some of their authenticity. What emotions is Foster Wallace trying to elicit from readers?
In a written discussion, there are many ways in which an author might anticipate their audience’s questions. Foster Wallace does an excellent job of this. While reading his essay there were many points at which I would form a question in my head and be relieved to find out that the next paragraph contained the answer. For example, he writes that soft-shell lobsters are generally cheaper “even though they’re easier to dismantle” (501). This claim obviously leads me to wonder why soft-shell lobsters would cost less if they are easier to eat. As I proceeded to read, I found my answer. There are many cases of this throughout his work. I believe that Foster Wallace might think of questions that readers will have as he writes. That way, readers are not left pondering his ideas and claims, and resultantly Foster Wallace is portrayed as more credible. In a written discussion the author should only bring up points that will be used to advance his or her argument in someway, or to help portray his or her ideas. Foster Wallace does just that. He builds up a background story about the Maine Lobster Festival to introduce the subject that he wishes to discuss. Then, he goes into detail and uses facts and evidence to support his argument and align with the story he is telling. Foster Wallace does an exceptional job formulating this discussion.
Journal #2
I have had tons of experience with drafting writing projects, dating back to intermediate school. Although prompts were much simpler back then, and my writing was not as advanced, the editing process was still quite similar. When writing a draft, the first step is to create an outline. This typically includes the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Next, the main goal is to focus on organization and content of the project. The nitty gritty grammar and sentence structure can come later. Once a draft has been created, it is important to read back through and ensure that the outline has been properly followed. Simple grammatical mistakes should be fixed as well. This is the experience I have with creating a draft.
The next step in the process is revision. I usually will encourage my peers to read over my draft so that I can benefit from another person’s perspective. At my old school, Bucknell University, my professors would read over my work too and I would get another chance at submission. The draft would be graded first and would be factored into my final grade. This way, all students would still work hard on the initial copy and would not just let the professor do all of the work for them. We were still being held accountable for the first draft. I was also encouraged to use tools such as my school writing center where my peers were paid to read over my work and give me feedback for a hour. Sometimes the professor would make this a requirement and would be notified if we did not go and seek help. At the writing center I would explain to my peer which parts of my paper I wanted help with. For example, if I was having a hard time summarizing the main ideas of my paper into a thesis, they would help me with that. I thought that this process was extremely helpful and I took advantage of it whenever possible.
Although I have had a lot of experience with drafting and revising papers, I still think that I have a lot to improve on. The writing process is never simple and it never should be. I believe that if a paper seems easy then there is not enough work being put into it. Knowing when the writing process is complete is always a challenge. There always seems to be a word that could be taken out or replaced, or a comma that could be added or removed. I believe that the challenges of writing is what makes writing fun.
Journal #3
It was 12:17am and I was headed north on Route 1 in Scarborough, Maine. I was driving about five over the speed limit, however I was in no real hurry. I sat alone in my car, music playing loudly as I drove over the marsh. The sound of the wind howling was completely blocked out by the music. I focused only on the road in front of me, and the sound of the guitar in the song I was listening to.
As I approached a red stoplight in front of me, I became aware of a salty smell. The overpowering smell had not entered my car until I had already driven past the marsh, or I had at least not become aware of it until then. I thought about how the smell reminded me of home and how all of the summer tourists probably think it’s the worst smell in the world. To me, that salty marsh smell is simply home.
Once the light turned green, I proceeded to lazily follow Route 1 and see where it took me. I could see nothing but lights coming from streetlights and cars going the other direction. The fog certainly limited my visibility and I squinted in order to stay in my lane. I turned down the music in order to focus harder on the road.
When I came to the next major intersection, I turned down a road that I knew would take me to the beach. I thought I would take advantage of not having a curfew and drive the long way home. Driving by the beach always helps me to clear my head. However, this night it only added to my stress. As I got closer to the beach, the fog became denser and denser. I grasped my steering wheel tighter and tighter in an attempt to have more control over where I was going. My efforts were useless and the fog made it impossible to go more than 15 miles per hour. I became aware of how the muscles in my hands were cramping from holding the wheel so tightly. I loosened my grip and tried to relax my shoulders and neck, thinking about how maybe someday I would make it.
Seemingly 30 minutes later, I arrived in the beach parking lot. I stepped out of the car to get some much needed beach air. I took a deep breath and could taste the salt in my mouth that I had previously smelled going over the marsh. The air was moist due to the fog, and once again I was reminded of home.
There is nothing like driving to the beach at night. There is never any hurry because the beach will always be there waiting.
Journal #4
The thing that stood out to me most about “Entering the Conversation” is the way in which it suggests people to work outside of their comfort zone. I immediately felt challenged to become a better writer, and be brave enough to try new techniques to advance my skills. For example, the authors recommend doing more than just stating one’s own opinion (3). It is important to tell your own ideas as a response to someone else’s, otherwise it just doesn’t really make sense. What are you arguing for if you are not arguing against anything? The authors of They Say I Say really opened my eyes to the concept that argumentative papers must include some voices of the opposition.
As for constructing a paper, the authors encourage the use of a template. I really liked the way that they defended all of the doubts that people might have when it comes to using templates in writing. For example, many people, including myself, would assume that templates would limit creativity. After all, how creative can you really be when using a template? Isn’t the point not to be creative? The authors really challenged this point of view which is intriguing to me. It is important to become comfortable with a template which does take time. However, once the template is mastered, you can almost make it your own. Templates become instinctual after a while and your creativity can take over this newly learned tool.
Reading the first 15 pages of They Say I Say really made me want to write more. I felt personally challenged to try the techniques that the authors were suggesting. It is ironic, in a way, that in writing about persuasive and proper writing techniques, they persuaded me to write. I am looking forward to reading more of this book and learning about other challenges that the authors have for me. I have to say, I’ve never read a book about how to write before and I did not think it would be this interesting.
Journal #5
When it comes to introducing quotations, I always thought the process was fairly simple. I used the format IQEA- introduce, quote, evaluate, and explain. I thought it was that simple. Follow the format and there was no room for error. Reading just these few pages of They Say I Say has allowed me to see that it is not quite that simple.
Choosing a quote can be extremely difficult. The writer must primarily focus on selecting the once that can be used to advance their argument. Furthermore, “The point we want to emphasize is that quoting what ‘they say’ must always be connected with what you say” (43). This point seemed interesting to me and although it seems obvious, I don’t think I pay much attention to it.
Another important aspect of quoting is being sure to explain the quote. This is part of IQEA but, again, I never paid much attention to it. Writers can not assume that the reader is interpreting the quote to have the same meaning that they intended for it to have. When explaining a quote, it can be difficult to determine how much explaining is necessary. I liked how the authors said that when in doubt it is best to explain more rather than less. It is similar to the idea, better safe than sorry.
When explaining a quote, it is also important to “blend the authors words with your own” (48). You can use some words from the writing within the quote to blend the authors ideas with your own ideas. This way, a smooth transition is created between their idea and yours. A connection is made rather than two complete polar opposite ideas being stated and the reader is left to interpret what the author is trying to convey. Which parts of the ideas are they trying to contrast? This transition when explaining the quote can help in that process
Journal #6 – Peer reviews for favorite meal essay
Journal #7
My peer editors, Billy and Lindsay, both gave me a tremendous amount of helpful feedback. The best global suggestion that they gave me was to revisit my thesis. Although there was some confusion regarding my thesis being in the second paragraph, we talked through it and they helped me to tie the thesis to parts of my paper. We decided that it would be best to add in a line about quality time with my mom being hard to come by because this is a point that I make later in the paper. They helped me to better organize my paper so that all of my points tied back to my thesis. This way, I was not introducing new ideas to the readers that were not previously stated, so they don’t seem random or out of place.
In regards to the feedback I gave to Billy, I would say that my best advice was for him to really stay on point with what the focus of the paper was. This is similar to the feedback he gave to me. More specifically, this meant not going off on a tangent about his grandmother’s retirement and her traveling. All of his points needed to tie back into the goal of the paper, and support his larger claim, which really has to do with the dish itself rather than his grandmother’s hobbies. As for Lindsay, I would say that I focus on more local concerns with her. There were some grammatical errors that needed fixing and they were present throughout the paper. Also Billy and I tried to help give her suggestions of parts of the paper to cut out, since her paper was over 1600 words. I specifically pointed out one part of the paper that could be taken out altogether, if she wished, because it did not relate to the focus of the paper.
During discussion we really talked about main ideas and the focus and intent of our papers. This is something that is hard to express through little comments in the margins. We were able to explain to each other in a more in depth manner what we were trying to get across in our papers.
I felt as though we really only had time to discuss more global concerns and I wish that we had been able to discuss local concerns as well. The majority of our conversation revolved around main points of the paper and how ideas tied into the thesis. However, we did not really help each other much with awkward wordings or punctuation.
Podcast: https://vocaroo.com/i/s14SyJKbsipz
Journal #8
The authors of They Say I Say once again choose to highlight the fact that it is important to acknowledge the views of others in order to construct your own argument. Similar to a previous section we read, the authors suggest the writer to “explain what he or she is responding to” (20). They say that this is a way to keep the audience hooked into whatever they are reading. It is also important to keep both what you are answering and your own argument together in your writing. It is recommended that this is done early on in the paper, however the authors seem to discourage going into detail in the beginning. Similar to the favorite meal papers that we just wrote, it is important to briefly tell the readers in the very beginning what the main points are, however we do not want to go into detail right away.
I think that all of the templates offered will be extremely useful when trying to introduce someone else’s ideas, especially ideas that we oppose. It can be particularly hard to figure out how to present someone else’s ideas, let alone our own. These templates provide a multitude of ways to tackle this challenge. I also like how the authors discuss that writers should continue to bring up what “they say” throughout their work. I think that we can get easily carried away in our own thoughts and ideas and forget the actual argument that we were initially addressing. It’s important for a writer to drive their focus and main point throughout the paper and not just allow the argument to weaken by failing to address the other side. I think that this is a very useful tip in creating more persuasive work, and will ultimately strengthen writing.
Journal #9
I spent most of my time revising more local concerns. The main concern that my peers had with my paper was the lack of a thesis statement, however that is included in my second paragraph which they did not realize. For this reason I mainly focused on rewording sentences to make them clearer, using a thesaurus to improve word choice, and small grammar issues such as the placement of commas. I also worked to edit my thesis a bit and make it less vague. I knew that it needed some more meat to it so I tried to really make it clear and understandable to readers. The thesis is such an important part of the paper so I put a lot of time and effort into it, as it is something that I have struggled with in the past.
This drafting process was fairly different than what I am used to. I am used to meeting with my professor in order to get their feedback and then creating a final copy based on that. I do not have much experience with sharing my work with peers. At Bucknell University, my professor would hand back our drafts within two days with tons of comments and corrections. By the next class we would need to have a final draft that proved that we acknowledged and reassessed all of their comments and concerns. I liked this new style of getting comments from peers too.
I think that my approach to this project fit with the expectations for this class. I really gave this project my best effort and tried hard when revising to make it even better. I took into consideration all of the comments made by my professor and both of my peers. I truly value the ideas of others, however I did want to stand by my own ideas as well. It’s always important to not lose one’s own voice in their writing. For me, I associated this project almost with my college essay and thought that since the paper was so personal, my voice was very important. I definitely chipped away at this project rather than doing a big chunk of it the night before. Being aware of the work that this project entailed I knew that the night before would not fly. I think that this method also really helped me. It allowed me to take my time and not rush by avoiding writing the paper all in one sitting. I know that one of the expectations for this class is to chip away at work and really do a thorough job, rather than a last minute effort to scrape by.
Journal #10
In the beginning of the story, the baker is introduced as a creepy man. The author, Raymond Carver writes, “The baker was not jolly…He made her [Ann] feel uncomfortable, and she didn’t like that” (202). He was very short with Ann and Scotty and just seemed to be going about his work, paying little attention or care to them. Ann and Scotty are trying to order a cake for Scotty’s birthday, a celebration and happy time.
After Scotty gets hit by a car, the baker keeps angrily calling the house and we see the mood of the story change here. While Ann is desperately trying to figure out what’s happening to her son, the baker is being annoying and getting in the way. Through the story, we develop a strong dislike for the baker, thinking that he is creepy and inconsiderate. He is waiting for the cake to be picked up just like Ann and Howard are waiting for information from the doctor.
While Ann and Howard are waiting in the hospital, they both express their lack of appetite. The doctor suggests that the two of them leave the hospital and get something to eat. Ann replies, “I couldn’t eat anything” (208). Here, we can see that food is something that is unwanted during hard times. We can tell that Ann is severely upset and worried. Here, her lack of appetite shows us her emotions without having to tell us. Food is talked about as a sign of hope when Howard suggests that Ann could come back for breakfast. He is trying to lighten the mood and sound inviting. However, Ann shows her dismay again when she turns down his offer. (211).
At the end of the story, after Scotty passes away, Howard and Ann go home. They realize that it was the baker who has been repeatedly calling and decide to confront him. Ann even goes as far as to say that she wants to kill him. When the baker is informed about Ann and Howard’s situation, he begs for their forgiveness. He gives them “warm cinnamon rolls just out of the oven” (217). Ann was hungry again and the rolls were described as “warm and sweet” (218). This description almost seems as if it referring to the baker more so than the food itself. The food that the “evil” baker created helped to lighten the mood, a mood that had been so dark for the whole story. He talked about how becoming a baker helped him to overcome loneliness and his own hard times. This brought more hope to Ann and Howard. The food and surprising company that they were presented with completely changed their mood, and gave them a small moment of much needed happiness.
Journal #11
I really like the way that this chapter discusses how to read as if reading a conversation. In some ways, this requires more work because it means that readers have to think beyond just the basics of what the author is saying. It means thinking about what is motivating the author. It means considering what outside forces have an influence on their view. However, in some ways this form of reading comes natural to us as humans. It is just like having a verbal conversation, but the words are on the page instead.
I also like the way that the authors mention to avoid picturing the writer as sitting in an empty room writing by themselves. If we picture them in a more social environment, then we are more apt to be able to think about them as having a conversation. It can be tough to figure out what the author is saying vs what they are responding to. Sometimes authors will not go out of their way to make it known to readers if they are taking someone else’s side or if they are forming their own idea. We must look for clues in order to figure this out.
There is also the instance of reading a difficult passage and not being able to figure out what “they say” because the passage is hard to understand. The authors suggest putting the article in your own words first, in order to then help to identify what the writer is saying versus what “they” are saying. When ideas are so complex they are not similar to ideas that we would normally have. This is another reason that they can be hard to identify. Critical reading can be very difficult, and it requires looking for much more than just a thesis to distinguish an argument in a text. However, reading, I can imagine, becomes much more enjoyable when thinking of it as a conversation, rather than and author spitting information at you. Critical reading opens new doorways and can allow readers to learn much more from a text than they would be able to otherwise.
Journal #12
Jessica Mitford’s The Story of Service is quite a unique story. I personally experienced a lot of discomfort when reading her work. I was exposed to things that I would prefer not to know about. This seemed to be part of her intent in writing this piece; exposing readers to ideas that they do not want to think about or know about, in order to prove a point. For example, Mitford writes, “Alas, poor Yorick! How surprised he would be to see how his counterpart of today is whisked off to a funeral parlor and is in short order sprayed, sliced, pierced…. -transformed from a common corpse into a Beautiful Memory Picture” (43). Although Mitford refers to the person being embalmed as a piece of artwork throughout her writing, it is clear that she is opposed to the process. She does a great job explaining both sides of the subject, however, she is certainly not fully on board. The negative and creepy adjectives that she uses in this passage indirectly show her opinion.
Mitford’s argument is also shown when she chooses to include a quote from a woman who attended an American funeral. This passage can be found on page 50. The woman explains how horrified she was that everyone was waiting in line to go look at a dead body, and how she would never go to another American funeral again. Mitford chose this quote to show, in her mind, the reality of embalming and how odd it is compared to other cultures. The passage also shows an outside view on the matter, since we were raised here and it has become somewhat “normal”.
Opposition to embalming can also be noted when Mitford is discussing the “grief therapist”. She writes, “He has relieved the family of every detail, he has revamped the corpse to look like a living doll, he has arranged for it to nap for a few days in a slumber room, he has put on a well-oiled performance in which the concept of death has played no part” (51). Throughout her work, Mitford writes a lot about use of the word “death”. It is clear, even from this passage alone, that she thinks it is unusual or strange how Americans tend to avoid accepting death. A funeral is almost like a staged act that is intended not to disrespect the family in any sort of way, and mentioning words like death or ashes might do so.
Journal #13
It is clear at one point in a description that Mitford uses that she opposes embalming. She writes, “Alas, poor Yorick! How surprised he would be to see how his counterpart of today is whisked off to a funeral parlor and is in short order sprayed, sliced, pierced…. -transformed from a common corpse into a Beautiful Memory Picture” (43). The negative verbs that she selects show her point of view. I do agree here with her perception of embalming and I think that all of these verbs are totally gross.
Mitford’s argument is also shown when she includes a quote from a woman who attended an American funeral. This passage can be found on page 50. The woman explains how horrified she was that everyone was waiting in line to go look at a dead body, and how she would never go to another American funeral again. I do not agree here with Mitford’s point. I think that it is important to acknowledge the perspective of people from other cultures, however I think that this is an American practice and is normal for Americans. I can understand how an outsider might see this as strange but I did not think that it was strange when I saw my great grandma in an open casket. To me, this seemed totally normal because it is what I know in terms of what happens at funerals.
When Mitford discusses the role of the “grief therapist” she writes, “He has relieved the family of every detail, he has revamped the corpse to look like a living doll, he has arranged for it to nap for a few days in a slumber room, he has put on a well-oiled performance in which the concept of death has played no part” (51). Mitford’s point here is that Americans avoid the concept of death and since it is an uncomfortable topic they try to put it in the back of their minds. I would say that this is complicated for me. I do agree that people tend to avoid the idea of death but at the same time I don’t really agree that there is any shame in that. People cope the way that they want to cope. If this involves dismissing death then so be it.
Another point is brought up when Mitford elaborates on the forbiddance of words relating to death. For example, she says, “He suggests a rather thorough overhauling of the language; his deathless words include: ‘service, not funeral; Mr., Mrs., …’” (52). Mitford shows how death is a touchy subject and how it is typically avoided. I agree with her that these words are not really used, however I do think their is fairly good reasoning behind this. People are accustomed to behaving this way out of respect for their loved ones. Therefore I would say that this one is complicated because I agree and also disagree.
Journal #14
I would not like to be directly involved in the death process of a loved one. Caitlyn Doughty suggests in her interview that people should be more involved in the process and ask to witness the cremation. However, I have loved ones who have been cremated and I could never be the one to push them into the fifteen-hundred degree oven. I honestly think that Doughty could accuse me of “not taking responsibility of the body”, however I know that this is something I could not do. I like the way that the funeral process is made spiritual and religious and I like the idea that they are being taken to a better place. May be I am being ignorant or naive, but I was raised with the idea that we will all meet again which is a happy thought. Watching someone go into an oven is simply not happy.
Doughty thinks that it is important to humanize the crematorium because the family has full control over what happens to the body. She thinks that crematoriums should be redesigned as nice places with flowers and music and candles and a skylight so that it is a peaceful and almost welcoming place for families and friends. This way, more witness cremations will become more popular and people will be taking responsibility for their loved ones. They will be there with them as they are sent off. She also thinks that being completely open and honest about the process is very important.
I would say that my opinion has not really changed regarding the commonly accepted practices that we have discussed. I do not get fast food very often to begin with and I am not a huge fan. Also, I have always wanted to remain fairly distant from death and although I don’t want to be ignorant to it, I still don’t want to be involved. As for embalming, I still respect my loved ones and anyone else who chooses this for when they pass away. I would not have it, and have never wanted it for myself but that does not mean that I don’t respect it. People can do whatever they want with their bodies. I think that it is important though that we are educated on what happens behind the scenes for all of these common practices, even fast food, so that we can make smart decisions.
Journal #15
After rereading “Consider the Lobster”, I would say that the thing that stood out to me is how quickly I picked up on his argument. I remember the first time I read Foster Wallace’s work I could not really tell what his argument was. It seemed to me that he did an exceptional job telling a narrative and providing facts, however I could not really tell what his view was. Upon my second time reading, I could pick up on his opinion more easily, and knew that he was opposed to the current treatment of lobsters.
I also found myself reading with more of an open mind. After reading articles about embalming and fast food, I know that things are not always how they seem. It is important to keep an open mind when reading and be able to respect someone else’s perspective. I remember being very angry and upset the first time I read “Consider the Lobster”, because the author’s views did not align with my own. However, I can now understand that much like fast food or embalming, the way in which lobsters are prepared and consumed might be seen as a bit harsh or unethical. These are the same emotions that come up for some people regarding embalming and McDonald’s.
As a reader, I think that a lot of major changes took place when I reread Foster Wallace’s work. However, I also noticed smaller details upon rereading. I noticed the way in which he built his case very meticulously and did not just spring his opinion on readers. He did not start stating facts until closer to the end when he talked about Lobsters’ ability to feel pain. I think that this is a smart writing strategy, it does not come over too pushy or obvious, and for that reason I think that readers are more likely to agree.
I truly enjoyed reading “Consider the Lobster” for a second time because it allowed me to learn things about myself as a reader. It also allowed me to delve deeper and focus more of my attention on Foster Wallace’s writing style, rather than focusing on content. I think that rereading is a very important thing to do and is a good skill to have.
Journal #16
- In reading Herzog’s article, the part that stood out to me the most was her idea about cats. She brought up the point that they eat tons of rats and birds, and this is caused by humans keeping cats as pets. Herzog says, “Oddly, many cat owners don’t seem to care about the devastation their feline friends cause to wildlife” (Herzog). Since cats are domesticated, they are causing disruption to the natural predator prey relationship in the wild. If cats were fed to snakes in homes rather than feeding them rats, this would seem to be more practical. However, who wants to feed a cat to a snake? It seems crazy. The struggle between what is logical and what seems “morally right” is present in this situation. Although it seems normal to feed a rat to a snake, and insane to feed a living cat to a snake, Herzog’s article calls this into question. Along the lines of the Fast Food article and the embalming article, how can we tell if these common practices are morally right, or if they are overlooked because they are “normal”. All of these things are culturally accepted by society, however when we did deeper are they really okay? This is the struggle of living in the middle.
- When looking at relationships with other animals, we can see that humans certainly like to exert their dominance. We have created relationships with cats and dogs, bringing them into our homes, and defying the designs of nature. When looking at the fact that we bring animals into our homes and love them and cherish them, while also killing them for testing to benefit ourselves, we can see that there is a conflict of interest. As Herzog writes, “I oppose testing the toxicity of oven cleaner and eye shadow on animals, but I would sacrifice a lot of mice to find a cure for cancer” (Herzog). Both animals and humans have in common that we all want to better our own species. Humans act in self interest and so do all other species. Humans just take advantage of other species due to the fact that we are more advanced and powerful. Wallace would also agree with this statement as he is conflicted about the treatment of lobsters. We can see from his essay that he is opposed to the cruel treatment but also understands that there is survival of the fittest. Similar to Herzog, Wallace is conflicted about what is most practical, ethical, and moral.
Journal #17
One of the most important parts of the reading from They Say I Say is that a writer must anticipate the reader’s objections. This reminds me of a section from earlier in the book when the authors mentioned how important it is to address the opposition’s point of view. In order to really persuade readers successfully, it is important to acknowledge their argument. Similarly, it is important to think about what critics might say and to knock down their doubts. As the authors claim, “…the more you give voice to your critics objections, the more you tend to disarm those critics…” (79). It is also important to respect readers and not make them think they sound crazy for having these doubts.
Another point that I took from this reading is not to label readers. In my opinion this can be extremely judgemental. And can turn readers away rather than drawing them in. That being said, labels can be beneficial if they are used correctly. People like to be associated with other people and know that they fit in. This can be used to an author’s advantage. If they use the label in a proper and respectful way, rather than stereotyping the readers, it can actually be helpful.
Third, I realized that not only is it important to acknowledge your opposition’s arguments, but a writer must also expand on them thoroughly. Touching on another person’s argument and then simply abandoning their idea does not really pay it enough respect. In order to earn respect as an author, it is important to carefully consider other people’s ideas. This makes a writer more authentic when readers can see that they have weighed all of their options. I think that for me this point really opened my eyes because I know that I myself usually just acknowledge an argument and then move on. Therefore, this is certainly something I will think about when writing in the future.
Journal #18
Journal #19
When working on my paper this weekend, I really focused on my thesis. I wanted to add in a subtle opinion of my own to my thesis. I know that this paper is not supposed to be simply an analysis of other author’s points of view. For this reason I knew that I should add my own take on these authors points of view. I added to the word “selfishly” to show that our ignorance is negative in my opinion. I would like to know if this is enough of an argument or if I need to further develop my thesis and really have my own take. I’m not sure that saying humans are selfish is enough of an argument.
On top of tweaking my thesis, I also added an introduction that introduced my ideas. I have not yet introduced the other authors, however I plan to do so. I added some topic sentences since I did not have fully worked paragraphs. I have some quotes thrown together with an analysis of them but did not work them into a paper format until now. I also edited a part of my paper where my wording was unclear and my peers helped me with this in their comments. I really appreciated the peer review and I think that it will be even more helpful as I further edit my paper.
